Keeping a Good Relationship With Your Non-Muslim Family

When you become Muslim, your family doesn't become "the other side". They are still your mother, your father, your brothers and sisters, your grandparents — and Islam places enormous weight on those bonds. In fact, many converts find that their faith makes them better family members than before.

What Islam asks of you

The Qur'an is clear that kindness to parents is not conditional on their religion. It reminds us of everything a mother goes through, and asks us to be grateful to Allah and to our parents:

Luqman 31:14-15

Elsewhere, Allah tells believers that He does not forbid them from being kind and fair to those who haven't fought them because of their faith Al-Mumtahanah 60:8. That describes the vast majority of families.

There is also a famous story from the time of the Prophet ﷺ: Asma', the daughter of Abu Bakr, asked whether she should keep good ties with her mother, who was not Muslim and had come to visit. The Prophet ﷺ told her yes — keep good relations with your mother.

Everyday situations

Eating at family meals

You can absolutely keep eating with your family. The things to avoid are mainly pork, alcohol, and food cooked with them (including wine in sauces). Scholars differ about meat from animals not slaughtered the Islamic way, so practice varies; some Muslims eat only halal-certified meat, while others hold that meat from Christian and Jewish households is permitted. Many converts handle family dinners by:

• Offering to bring a dish, or to help cook
• Kindly explaining one or two things you avoid, rather than a long list
• Filling up on the vegetarian or fish dishes when unsure

See our halal food basics for more.

Visits and holidays

Visiting family on holidays is a way of keeping family ties. What matters is not taking part in the religious rituals of another faith. A meal together, a family walk, giving and receiving a present — many scholars consider these acceptable expressions of family love. Our guide to Christmas, Thanksgiving and family holidays explains the different views.

Prayer times during visits

Ask politely if there's a quiet room where you can pray for five minutes. Most families are curious rather than offended, and some become quietly proud.

When they criticise Islam

It hurts, especially from people you love. Respond calmly, or not at all in the moment. "I know it's different. I'm happy to talk about it whenever you want" goes a long way. Your character will answer more than any argument.

The power of good character

The Prophet ﷺ was described by Allah as having a tremendous character Al-Qalam 68:4. Many converts say their families came around not because of debates, but because they saw:

• More patience and less anger
• More honesty and responsibility
• More help around the house
• More respect toward parents and grandparents

When the relationship is truly difficult

Some families, sadly, cut ties or become hostile. If you face threats, abuse or danger, your safety comes first — reach out to trusted people, local support services, and your mosque. Keeping kindness never means accepting harm.

Even then, many converts keep a door open: a birthday message, a holiday card, a sincere du'a. Hearts change, sometimes years later.

Making du'a for your family

You can and should pray for your family's wellbeing, health and guidance. The Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) prayed for his father; the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ prayed for his people. Your quiet du'a for your mother at night may be the most loving thing you ever do for her.

How AskDeen can help

Family life throws up questions you never expected: Can I eat my grandma's stew? Can I go to my cousin's baptism? How do I explain Ramadan to my dad?

AskDeen helps you handle these moments with confidence and kindness. Ask privately, get a clear and balanced answer — including where scholars differ — with every source linked so you can read it yourself. If it's something that really needs a local scholar, AskDeen will say so gently.

Keep your family close, keep your faith strong, and let AskDeen help with the questions in between.